I recently read “How to Be an Imperfectionist: The New Way to Self-Acceptance, Fearless Living, and Freedom from Perfection” by Stephen Guise and I am extremely happy that I did.  I’m always looking to improve the areas in my personal development that I feel are weak and for this instance, in particular, I was looking for ways to improve my habits to maintain personal confidence. On a day to day basis, we’re aboard this crazy roller coaster called life and I’m just looking to make sure I’m wearing my safety belt.

I was drawn to this book because I found that the preview spoke directly to my creative personality.  Personally, I am a planner. I love being prepared in every situation and my mind feverishly rushes through checklists, what-ifs, and worst-case scenarios.  As a business owner and a creative person, I never realized that the pursuit of perfectionism has been what I’ve been hung up on all these years.  

On many occasions, I’ve gone into analysis paralysis, where I’d overthink something to the point where I’d choose to do nothing instead of moving forward.  The mere fact that there might possibly be the tiniest chance of something going awry would lead me to inaction, which would then evolve into guilt that would add to my daily stress. 

As I was trying to make everything perfect to avoid possible embarrassment, I was totally overlooking the life experiences that imperfection teaches us.  Understanding that there’s no true risk in being imperfect [unless you’re in the medical field!] and that the important thing is to just show up and let go of those mental projections, will help you create a much happier and more efficient version of yourself.

I am so happy that I found this book because it teaches you simple, actionable steps to improve your daily habits and headspace.

Who would get a lot out of this book?

If you are a self-proclaimed perfectionist, you NEED to read this book.

If you procrastinate by making sure that you have ideal conditions, an ideal mood, or ideal timing to complete your task, you NEED to read this book.

If you constantly project the outcome of events by listing all the things that will probably go wrong, you NEED to read this book.

If you’re constantly avoiding failure, humiliation, and embarrassment, so you always take the easy way out, you NEED to read this book.

What are our takeaways and how will we apply them?

This book teaches a series of mini habits to help you create actual change in your daily life rather than provide a sense of fleeting motivation.  Here are the takeaways that I’ve already applied to my daily routine.

1. Embrace imperfection.  Doing things wrong is the only way we get better, so the only thing that matters is gaining the experience by doing them.  As soon as you “OK” yourself to be imperfect, you’ll feel a huge sense of relief and allow yourself to get right to business.
2. Stop ruminating. The only way to get over the past is to accept it.  Rumination is a painful form of procrastination where you rehash past events, go through the shoulda, woulda, coulda and end up choosing to relive your nightmares.  Stop replaying old movies in your head and start accepting what has happened and know that each new moment gives you an opportunity to take your life where you want it to go.
3. Implement the concept of binary thinking.  Make your tasks easy to complete by simplifying them to a pass or fail concept.  Instead of getting nervous and procrastinating because you have to give a perfect presentation free of embarrassment that everyone will love, make your goal to simply get up and start talking out loud.  The more you add to the “story” of your task the more you begin to project the outcome which fires up your negative and nervous emotions and stops you in your tracks.  
   1. Another simple example is rather than thinking that in order to go to the gym and get a good workout you have to feel up to it and be motivated. Just make your goal to drive to the gym. That way, you either did it, or you didn’t and it completely bypasses your subjectivity on the matter.
4. Change your language.  Pay attention to the words you say.  In particular, use the term “could” instead of “should.” “Should” always leads to guilt and resentment towards yourself and the task you need to complete. “Could” still gives you the opportunity to do the tasks and keeps your subconscious mind from delivering a guilt trip.
5. Let go of embarrassment.  If you find yourself avoiding doing things because you don’t want to be embarrassed, then you’ll never get to where you want to go.  Embarrassment isn’t a harmful risk and has no unhealthy side effects. It’s 100% temporary and you can actually choose to let it go. Experiences are what help you become more confident and allow you to give less weight to the feeling of embarrassment. Stop seeking approval from the fictitious “everyone” because it’s just causing you to have low self-esteem.  The more you’re able to participate in your life, the more practice you will get and the better you’ll be. If you think about it, everyone who has ever been great was a failure almost 1000x more than they were great. Dreaming big doesn’t always require aiming big. Aim at what’s in front of you to make it attainable and take aim often.
6. Flip the switch on motivation.  Our culture is constantly throwing out ways to get us motivated to take action.  There are books, seminars, and coaches all dedicated to helping us get enough motivational feelings to take ourselves out of the rut we are in and spring us into action.  The trouble with this model is that it won’t work all of the time. Sometimes we just don’t feel up to it. When you aren’t feeling creative or you are in a bad mood, climbing up that hill to motivate yourself to get stuff done is extremely daunting and let’s face it, unlikely.  If you flip the switch and decide to stop waiting for or trying to build motivation, and instead just start by taking action, you’ll find that action actually creates motivation MUCH quicker!

GET THE BOOK

How to Be an Imperfectionist: The New Way to Self-Acceptance, Fearless Living, and Freedom from Perfectionism

AUTHOR WEBSITE: www.stephenguise.com

The post Book Review: “How to Be an Imperfectionist: The New Way to Self-Acceptance, Fearless Living, and Freedom from Perfection” appeared first on Learn It - Do It.

Last fall, we were looking for a jolt of positivity and enthusiasm to zap us out of a funk.  They weren’t dire times [we were actually in the midst of developing and producing LIDI], but we were definitely in the need of a 3rd quarter pick-me-up to help us spring out of bed on those colder mornings and finish strong.

What Prompted Us to Pick up this Book?

One random night, while we were caught mindlessly scrolling on our phones before bed – we happened to see a friend of mine post about You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero on Instagram and I thought, “what the heck? – I’ll give it a read!”

Honesty Alert: Reading You Are A Badass was like drinking a 2 pm Redbull and finishing the day with a slam! It’s a shot of adrenaline to get you past the small roadblocks that you’ve built up in your mind that are currently standing between you and your goals.  Its “No B.S.” attitude is just what you need to wake up from the craziness in your mind and start taking action to live your best life!

Not only did this book completely jazz us up – it actually sparked feverish creative energy that helped us reach our year-end goals and prepare ourselves for the launch of this very website.

Who would get a lot out of this book? 

If you are currently pursuing a goal and you’re feeling “stuck,” this is a great book for you because Jen Sincero paints a comically honest picture of the harsh truths that we all need to hear.  Whatever your reason may be, I bet that the majority of what’s keeping you from the success you’re looking for are roadblocks that are actually quite simple to remove.  Sometimes a slap in the face can help change your perspective and if you feel like you’re ready to understand life from a new perspective, then you absolutely should read this book.  She’s raw, funny, and tells you the things that you need to hear without the sugar-coating. This book is oh-so-human, real, honest and just the kick in the butt you’ve been looking for!

What are our takeaways and how will we apply them?

1. Awareness & Consciousness

When you start getting into self-help books, there is a lot of talk about the “ego,” and if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t think you are the greatest (even though you totally should value yourself that much), it’s hard for you to believe that you have an EGO problem.  

The truth is, the “Ego” is your subconscious that is “driving the bus,” so to speak, when you put your brain on auto-pilot.  It’s the little voice in your head that pulls you down, helps you make terrible decisions that sabotage your goals, or reminds you of a bunch of useless false beliefs you’ve been taught throughout your life at just the right moment to hold you back.  

I love how simply, and realistically, Sincero talks about this concept of the ego.  It’s so important to take a step outside your “self” and realize that you CAN make changes to your life, things aren’t always going to be the way they have been, and everything you’ve been told isn’t necessarily gospel.  If you want something, you can have it…just tell that voice in your head that you’ll take it from here and make it happen!

2. Gratitude: The Gateway Drug to Awesomeness

Appreciating when someone does something for you seems like a simple concept.  Sometimes we say “thank you” without really thinking about it or feeling it. The truth is, when we can really take a minute to truly feel gratitude and appreciate the things and opportunities we have, it puts us on the frequency of receiving more of those awesome things.  When you are in a good mood, you notice more good things coming your way. So when you are having a down moment, take a minute to be present and think about some things that you really appreciate and you’ll find yourself climbing out of that mental hole and pulling yourself into that happy place again!

3. “I Tried” is the Poor Man’s “Kick Butt”

I love that Sincero points out that we as people tend to let ourselves fall short of a goal because we aren’t really willing to do what it takes.  People who are successful push themselves outside of their comfort zone again and again. They achieve their goals and reach the highest levels of success because they simply aren’t willing to let anything get in the way of that.  The truth is, if you want something bad enough, nothing can stop you. So don’t make excuses or allow yourself to fall victim to yourself or outside obstacles. If you REALLY want something, you’ll make it happen!

4. Give Yourself  Permission to be You.

All too often we allow ourselves to settle or be less than our best versions of ourselves because of something someone else says or a silly belief we’ve been holding on to.  The truth is, anything you want to be, do, or have is totally available to you if you can get out of your own way and really believe it’s possible.  You deserve to be the best version of yourself; whatever that means to you.

Link to the book: You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero

Author’s Website: https://jensincero.com/

The post “You Are A Badass” Book Review appeared first on Learn It - Do It.

Why did we decide to read this book?  What prompted us to pick it up?

In February 2019, Rhi and I attended a conference called “Think Better, Live Better,” hosted by Marc and Angel Chernoff [of marcandangel.com].  One of the distinguished keynote speakers was Humble the Poet, who is an author, rapper and spoken word artist. Humble, or Mr. Poet (we’re basically besties by now), presented on how to overcome fear and adversity to stay creative.  Most notably, how to overcome failure, which is bound to happen at some point.

During his presentation, he discussed his upcoming book Unlearn and shared a few chapters with the audience and we knew immediately that this was definitely something we’d be interested in reading.

During the break after the afternoon speaking sessions were completed, we got to meet Humble and talk to him briefly about creativity and pushing forward even when you think you’ve hit a dead end.  He was extremely eloquent, helpful and insightful [and we thank him again for taking the time to meet with us!. 

We waited until the US release of his book and immediately snatched it up and read it in a day and a half.

Who would get a lot out of this book?

This book is a collection of his social media posts and they can be read as daily lessons.  I chose to read it cover to cover, but you can literally pick it up and open to a random page and get some great life knowledge. Humble The Poet doesn’t spout off puffy cliches, instead, he tells it straight and lets you know that you’re not alone in whatever pain or suffering that you endure.

I think that anyone in the trenches of a creative career will absolutely get a lot out of this book.  The author is extremely transparent about the battles that we face internally and externally as we continue our creative journey.  Through both the ups and downs, his lessons ring true and they serve as a great daily reminder to stay on the level and to remember what we’re actually doing here.

What are our takeaways and how will we apply them?

I’ve paraphrased my favorite takeaways, but really, each of the 101 lessons are true takeaways.

1. The only truth to life is death – everything else is what you decide to make of it. This message is incredibly helpful, especially when you find yourself in a distracting cloud of stress and fear.  It allows you to center yourself and remember the big picture.
2. Our minds are the cause of our unhappiness – not the actual world around us.  We can’t expect life to be the fairytale that our brain feeds us. We’ve got to cut the cord of the rom-com expectations that we’ve created for ourselves and actually take a good look at how fortunate we are in our own lives out here in reality.
3. We all experience pain – it’s how we grow, push our boundaries and do extraordinary things. If we spend our time building barriers of protection we are just setting ourselves up for catastrophic failure.  We only learn from stumbling and falling here and there. In addition, the happiness and sense of accomplishment that we’re all striving for only comes when we step out of our comfort zones, experience new things [good and bad], and notice that this journey is exactly what we’ve been looking for all along.
4. Don’t allow the opinions, expectations or narratives of others to affect you and your day to day life. You have to remember that each person lives their lives inside their own head and they’re only concerned about themselves.  When you view it from this perspective, the weight of opinions and expectations of others is lessened. It is up to you to live your own life and make it what you want.
5. You are the only thing or person that can make you happy.  This is a big one.  Our reaction is to look outward for happiness, but the truth is that it can only come from within.  So in order to get a head start on your own happiness, immediately stop looking to any person, product, or vacation to create happiness.

Uncover your favorite takeaways by visiting Humble’s website and/or ordering the book Unlearn here.

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